kids camp, wa 2011

Being in a kid’s camp again was great.  Last time I was part of a kids camp was in 2005. I didn’t’ realize how I’ve missed being with the kids.  There was such a nostalgic feeling about being there.  For what ‘was’, not for what was happening at the moment.  The memories of the good ol’ days, flooded me.  I was transported back to the time when we used to organize camps.  The stress, the responsibility, planning, praying and prepping, friendships and working side by side sacrificing yourself for the kids, the beauty of giving yourself away for others.

This camp was way more advanced of course.  I don’t remember even having a power point in our kid’s camp, not to mention editing movie clips as part of group’s assignments.  It was so awesome to be a part of the team, yet it all seemed so distant.  I felt like it was ‘mine’ but no longer mine.  I felt detached.  Like I was trying to resurrect memories that I’ve had previous in my life which was no longer reality.  I envied the passion and excitement of some.  I’ve missed it. I don’t have that spark any longer.  What happened? 

I remembered I’ve had this feeling before.  After 4 years of college life, having had so many memories and experiences, my soul was touched to the core during those years.  It was bitter sweet to leave the campus where such a vital part of my life has taken place.  The nostalgic feeling remained, and I lived missing the ‘college years experience.’  I  thought that if I would only return it will all be the same again.  It was several months after I had the opportunity to visit the campus, and having graduated and gone from it for a time, everything seemed different.  People were different, atmosphere has changed, and I was no longer a part of it. It was time for me to move on.  The feeling that life goes on without you, and that you are no longer a vital part of ‘that’ existence, brought tears to my eyes then.  Now thinking back, I remember it as a growing and maturing stepping stone in my walk with Christ.  Realizing that a new season in my life has begun.

 THiS was a reminder of THaT.

It brings tears to my eyes even now, thinking about how things have changed, and how I no longer feel a part of the ‘camp culture.’

  I miss it.  My heart grieves for it. 

Yet I realize that things will not be the same again.   God has something else in store for me.  Although Kids Camps will forever hold a special place in my heart, I can only look back at it with a sentimental reminder of how the Lord began His vivid work in me and showed me the reality of His presence during my years in camping ministry.  
GOD ANSWERS PRAYER!
That is ONE experience from my camp years I will never forget!!









Surprise!! sacramento

My friend Angela and I have been friends for over 15 years.  Beginning in about February she has begun telling me that she is going to have a BIG 30^th Birthday party this year, and that I better be there.  As I was getting ready to leave California with an uncertain return date, she kept persisting in the fact that I MUST be at her birthday.  I kept saying that it is impossible for me to just fly in for that.  That it would be around a $300 expense that I just could not afford, with my new lifestyle of – Nothing. 

As summer approached her persistence intensified.  She used all kinds of measures to persuade me.  She bribed me with a deal of not having to give her any birthday gifts for the next 10 years, stating it was a great deal if I look at it in the long run.  She had all kinds of attempts.  I couldn’t believe how insistent she was on me being there.  With all that determination, I began to pray for God to make a way for me to surprise her on her special day. 

My friend kept asking, kept telling, kept nagging about me coming, and I just couldn’t resist. The verse that God has been solidifying in my heart lately is Matthew 7:8 “Those who Ask, RECEIVE.” And He made a way for me to purchase the tickets to be in Sacramento for her party.  I was vividly seeing the truth of that verse.

“Although he will not get up and supply him anything because he is a friend, yet because of his shameless persistence and insistence he will get up and give him as much as he needs.  …  For everyone who asks and keeps on asking receives.” (Luke 11:8,10)

My short visit to Sacramento was a gift for me as well as for my friend.  It was an honor to be at her party, which proved to be a lovely event.  I loved surprising many other friends with my sudden appearance. 

Besides seeing my sweetest nieces and nephew, and visiting with family, there were many other pleasant moments in my week.   Kessie assisted me in surprising Kathy.  I showed up in Fresno unexpected just on the day Zina and Larisa returned from their missions trip in Portugal and Spain.  Spent a lovely early morning breakfast with Lida & Gena, and visited Edik & Lilya's new home. 

I met with my sweetest friend Anichka Tyulyu at Crepeville, one of our favorite spots.  My last bittersweet quick stop was at Alternatives PC on my way to the airport.  Overall it was a good visit filled with excitement and an opportunity to finish sorting thru my things.  

Thru this week, there was also a sense of confirmation that I must leave Sacramento.  Being gone 1 month in obedience to the Lord, and having a chance to return just solidified for me the need to venture out unto the path that the Lord is laying out for me.  I am more confident than ever that HE will take care of me.  And if I shall ever be in need, I can just ask…  For I am convinced, that everyone who asks – receives!!

3 friends for years

my nieces

davidka

kessie, sam & i

my sweet kathy

first tea party upon their return

larisa & zina telling of their mission trip to portugal & spain

The Kitsen Fam @ their new home

another Kitsen fam, after our early breakfast-prayer date

cutest eva dyadchenko

my friend anya tb

crepeville, sacramento

@ center in my ex-office.  Missed my peeps!

reality check in Florida

The world is getting smaller, the older I get.  It amazes to meet people along the way, and be reconnected with them years later.  Being invited to Florida, thru a gal I knew in college days, proved to be such a gift to my soul. 

 

 As I came back from Kiev, and had a week in NYC to recuperate and prepare for a week of speaking to 60 teenagers at a Teen Bible School in Jacksonville Florida, I began to experience similar discouragement attacks that I used to have as I began working full time in the Pregnancy Center ministry.   

The fierce arrows of lies were the same:

“What do you have to say?” 

        “The task is too big!” 

   “Who will listen to you anyway." 

“You are so rusty in doing this, you have not spoken for months.” 

          “You don’t even have anything to offer.” 

And on and on.   

The enemy is not creative in making up new lies, however the reality of the once he sends are pretty vivid, and they do plant DOUBT.  How I hate that.  That week was so difficult, filled with a vivid fight within my heart.  It didn’t help that I forgot all my computer cords and my hard drive with my power points in Ukraine.  I had to completely rely on the Lord this time.  Like FULLY.  And here I was fighting such spiritual opposition.  It was not new to me; I was able to identify the lies for what they were, but knowing what they are, didn’t alter my ‘feelings’ right away. 

I realized that choosing to focus on the TRUTH, is like making yourself run stairs to the top of the Empire State Building.  It was extremely difficult.  Yet I understood that God was giving me an incredible opportunity to speak His Truth to 60 young souls.   

What a Gift!   

Such an Honor!   

I was being entrusted with young hearts, and a chance to help them learn and identify the lies that the world was shoving at them.  Lies about sex, and relationships, about choices and their own personal value.  Regardless of how I felt, I stood up and took up my shield of Faith, and Sword of the Spirit which is the word of God.  I claimed the promise of God that the Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, to proclaim freedom for the captives (Isaiah 61:1). And packed my bags for Florida.

Little did I realize how God wanted to spoil me there.  Besides the comfortable room I stayed in, a car to drive and daily visits to the beach, the teens receptiveness of the message was the biggest reward.

From the first day, seeing the beautiful faces of young people, eagerly hanging on the words I spoke, was evidence enough of Gods purpose in all of this.  I was entrusted with hearing some of their stories, and my heart ached for how hard it was for them to navigate the corrupted world they lived in, without any support, understanding or guidance from their parents, who were extremely distant from teen reality. 

Even now, I can see their eyes in my mind, so young, and full of life.  Pure innocence tainted with the sinfulness of the world.  Living in a dump, it is extremely difficult for young people to keep their paths clean. 

  

Every day, after class I was humbled by a standing ovation as I walked out of the classroom, and headed to the beach to pray for their precious hearts.   

The walks on the beach with the Lord, proved to be my lifeline during the week of this battle.  Sitting in His presence, breathing the freshness of the air, I was comforted by a renewed passion to be bold in proclaiming truth in the face of worldly deception.   Remembering the respect teens displayed and readiness to listen the stories and facts that I boldly shared with them gave me strength for the next day. 

 The week went by all too fast.  On the plane, as I was reading their little thank you notes written in my book, I couldn’t hold back the tears.  The REALITY that our teens, 13-16 year olds, are in need of Recovery more than Prevention, is hard to accept.   

  I continue to pray that the seed sown in their hearts, will find fertile ground and that they will take active steps in plowing the weeds of the enemy. 

 These are just a few, from the LONG list of replies to the question of “What will you remember FOREVER from the week with Natasha”:

-          Sex is good as long as you’re married

-          The world is knocking the price down

-          Sex is only Great in God’s way

-          Don’t wait for the perfect person, Become One

-          Treat guys/girls like you would want your spouse to be treated

-          It is not impossible to be a virgin for hands & lips

-          If you find a guy that wants your body and doesn’t even protect you, RUN!

-          God wants you to have the best sex ever!

-          Sex is great only in Marriage!

-          U-Turns are allowed in life

-          To start training now!

-          All of her funny stories!

hj

upside down kingdom

    

 Here I was sitting in my Manhattan of all the places.. Just enjoying myself in the beautiful, new High Line Park.  Reading “Radical” by David Platt, thinking how true it was that “success in the kingdom of God involves moving down, not up.” (pg.80) I began pondering about my life..

    When I completed my master’s degree, and moved back to California to begin my career. I got a job with a good salary and all the benefits.  After working there for less than a year I realized how miserable I was.  I begged God to either give me the strength to go on, or to move me.  He chose the latter.  

My volunteering at Alternatives Pregnancy Center followed by an offer of a full time position, which involved losing all the health benefits and lower  salary.  However I could not be happier working there.  After 4 years of being in ‘Gods University’ at Alternatives, He taught me tremendous truths about Himself and His love for people, after certain healing He has done in my own heart, He called me to leave that ministry, and sell all the things I have accumulated over the years.  I followed His call and quit the professional world altogether.  I lost the stable salary, and connected with a Missions Organization (Connect International www.connect-inter.org) living off ‘pay’ that I had to raise myself.  I went thru extreme purging of my closet, and personal library, giving away tons of scarves, espresso machines, books and other things.  

 Here I was, ‘unemployed’ in the eyes of the world, sitting in Manhattan.  With people in business suits rushing just down the block to their million dollar offices, missing out on the life they continuously try to improve.  

I couldn’t be happier, being 'employed' by the Creator of the Universe Himself.  

I took a deep breath. 

  It began to rain.  

 
  I continued to sit when everyone else rushed for cover.  I didn’t have to rush anywhere, I didn’t care if I got soaked, in fact I haven’t played in the rain since careless college days. I kept reading: “He was calling them to abandon their careers.  They were reorienting their entire life’s work around discipleship to Jesus.  Their plans and dreams were now being swallowed up in His.” 

 Enjoying the outpour of Gods vivid blessing, I couldn’t help but smile up at the sky that seemed to overspill its riches of living water, drenching me in it, solidifying the Truth that “One can be extremely Rich without having much Stuff here on earth.”