6 months

It’s been almost 6 months.   A whole half a year since I have been jobless, and homeless. 
Surprisingly or not my life has been more filled with adventure and provisions than ever before.  I have been on the move, not only through the states but across continents.  God has been providing shelter, and food and everything else I need (and often even want)!  Funny, but the list of all I ‘need’ has diminished tremendously.  I have realized I am in need of very little, when my life belongs to the King of Kings and I do not have much room to put things in.  The number of things I need changes with the space that I have.  The fact that I have to pack all I have into a suitcase, helps me keep focus on not overbuying. (Although I am a slow learner).

I work for the Lord.

Having a conversation with a businessman in Moscow helped me realize what a privilege it is to work for the Lords Company.  Not everyone has the honor of being offered a special full time position in His business.  Working for the Lord’s Company comes with certain challenges and benefits.  Traveling is one that was apparently included in my ‘package deal.’ I don’t mind at all, in fact I am remembering how I dreamed about it years before.  With the Lord – DREAMS COME TRUE!  I am honored to be working for an ‘all-inclusive’ kind of business.  All Sufficient, All Knowing, All Powerful, Mighty, Sovereign God has already allotted all I need to complete His tasks.  That’s His Promise.   I might not yet know of all the ‘bank accounts’ or other 'colleagues' to complete the necessary assignments, but I will know in Due time! For this I am so thankful, and am honored to have a full time/overtime position in such an eternally impactful company.  Although I am still in the ‘training’ period for my new position, I am getting used to it, and am LOVING IT!! 

MY BOSS is GOD – can there be a better leader to follow? J

playground

People keep asking me: “Where do you like it better, in America or in Russia?”  I am having a hard time answering, it’s becoming harder and harder for me to notice the difference.  Thank God for being the SAME everywhere.  The earth is the Lords, and it’s all the same to Him and is becoming all the same to me.  I am slowly learning to “Just Be.”

I’ve prayed and prayed to just stop doing, to stop running, to stop worrying. 

God is teaching me “TO BE,” to simply “BE ME!”

Currently I am not doing much.  Well, at least in my sense of the word.  I realize that for me cooking, cleaning, babysitting is NOT doing.  Because that is not a part of my “normal, daily living,” it is actually RELAXING.  J  I don’t “DO” housework.  My life just does not consist of it.  I travel, speak, and meet with people, I talk and counsel, listen and pray, but washing dishes and simply playing with little girls is just not something I’ve done regularly – until now.  To help in the kitchen, make breakfast , do laundry, that simply isn’t my life.  It might be someday – but for now, this is my vacation! 

It’s different.

Yet there seems to be an internal struggle just the same.  I am realizing that the attacks on the soul are present weather I am on stage or on the playground.  The spiritual realm doesn’t need a visa to travel continents or statuses.

The attack on the heart, the discouragement in thought, the feelings of irrelevance, are identical when all one is trying to be is Obedient.  Weather God calls us to active public ministry that impacts the hearts of His many kids, or active private ministry that affects the souls of your children, our desire to be OBEDIENT draws the attention of the enemy.   OBEDIENCE is BETTER THAN SACRIFICE, and that is precious in God’s sight.

 This is our life.  My life.

While it’s here on earth, we are in this eternal fight.  Regardless of the language spoken around me, God is teaching me to recognize and understand a different sphere, a culture of fear, regret, lies, and emotional state that is altered only by Faith.  The physical proximity, familial, cultural, or social status is irrelevant.  Comparing continents or countries is useless, because it’s not the comforts of this world that gives content and security to the soul. 

I am learning to identify the discomfort of living with doubt and the beauty and ease that trust in the Lord brings.  Spiritual richness and poverty is something I beginning to see.  I don’t know what to say where it’s ‘better’ in Russia or the USA.  People are in need of Christ!  Their reality is bleak weather they take the subway to Red Square or Times Square.  They need Jesus just the same.  This is what God has been trying to show me.  I haven’t paused long enough to notice.  Until now.

 Watching the girls carelessly jump around on the playground….

Moscow days

“There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven… a time to keep and a time to throw away.. a time to be silent and a time to speak..”  Eccl 3:1,6,7

As I was preparing to set out on my journey, I was throwing and giving away  a lot of things.  Some things I kept.  Although I have realized I was unwise in NOT bringing them to Russia with me.  Like my RAINBOOTS for example.  I kept them, but I left them in Seattle.  In fact I have been leaving some of my things all across the country J. 

Now I have been in Moscow for 2 weeks.  This is the longest time I have stayed here in the Capital of the Mother Land.  Usually it is a quick transit.  This is also a transit stop, although prolonged.  My days here have been filled first with walking thru all the famous spots, and posting numerous pictures on facebook of the beautiful city. 

The last few days I have had the privilege of losing my self (literally) in the streets of Moscow, without even pulling out a camera.  I walk out of a random subway, and just start walking.  I go slow, taking in the Russian life.  I just walk and turn wherever I feel like it.  I pray and think. I slow down and sit on a bench watching the birds.  When it gets late, I wonder the streets until I find another subway to enter the underground world that will take me home. 

It all fascinates me.  It reminds me of childhood. It feels so natural and comfortable, yet I am different. 

I fit in and yet I don’t.

The beautiful architecture covered with modern advertisement.  It’s there, but it doesn’t really belong.

I have realized that “this is a time to be silent.”  God has been teaching me a lot about silence lately (read my SILENCE blog).  It is My turn to be silent.  To not speak to people much.  To listen.  To watch.  To just be.  To be where I am. And I am here, in Moscow.  For now.  

I have had a few very powerful encounters with old friends, or the friends of my parents.  I am humbled as to how God uses them to remind me of His promises, His faithfulness, His truths, and the privileges of working for His Kingdom.  I have been touched through these conversations and for this I am truly thankful.  I guess it is my time to be still, and to receive.  Receive encouragement, and inspiration, receive truth and words of life spoken into me. 

My time of speaking will come again, of this I am certain.  For now, I am so extremely content to just walk, to sit, to stand.  To be in a foreign territory, yet feel so connected.  So close, so familiar, yet so far, different, other. 

What is this?

This external inner feeling.  The distant closeness of it all. 

It’s mine yet it’s not my own. 

 

imitate me

It was another warm sunny day with lots of people out enjoying the view of a beautiful, majestic, historic capital of the mighty Mother Russia.  My friends and I were walking the touristy streets of Moscow as well. 

Coming upon a green grassy area next to Kremlin, and a huge intersection, the girls and I decided to spread one of our scarfs and just sit down on the grass.  This is a common practice in the States.  I’ve sat in numerous such parks in America, from San Francisco to New York City.  Here, it was just not common.  It was not done.  People just walked on by, hurrying along the beautiful streets.

As we sat there, enjoying the view of Moscow Traffic ahead, and Kremlin wall to our left, we noticed that people began to imitate us.  They started to slow down by the grass.  Some sat down as well, others only to take pictures and hurry on. Some sat to rest for a while.  It was quiet interesting to see how easy it was to set an example and how quickly others will follow.

We prayed.

I love praying in random places like that.  In the middle of cities.  I remember praying with a friend smack in the center of Times Squire in NY.  So here was a time to pray in the heart of Moscow.  I realized during prayer how important it is to ‘set the trend.’  May not only our random acts of behavior be imitated by walking by tourists, but may our lives resemble Christ so it will be worth imitating! 

May our faith, our trust, our devotion our living, be fun and exciting, attractive and vivid, for others to want to imitate, to want to follow, and live devoted to Christ. 

May we imitate the life of Christ, so that we can confidently say: “I urge you to imitate me.”  (1 Cor 4:16)