People keep asking me: “Where do you like it better, in America or in Russia?” I am having a hard time answering, it’s becoming harder and harder for me to notice the difference. Thank God for being the SAME everywhere. The earth is the Lords, and it’s all the same to Him and is becoming all the same to me. I am slowly learning to “Just Be.”
I’ve prayed and prayed to just stop doing, to stop running, to stop worrying.
God is teaching me “TO BE,” to simply “BE ME!”
Currently I am not doing much. Well, at least in my sense of the word. I realize that for me cooking, cleaning, babysitting is NOT doing. Because that is not a part of my “normal, daily living,” it is actually RELAXING. J I don’t “DO” housework. My life just does not consist of it. I travel, speak, and meet with people, I talk and counsel, listen and pray, but washing dishes and simply playing with little girls is just not something I’ve done regularly – until now. To help in the kitchen, make breakfast , do laundry, that simply isn’t my life. It might be someday – but for now, this is my vacation!
It’s different.
Yet there seems to be an internal struggle just the same. I am realizing that the attacks on the soul are present weather I am on stage or on the playground. The spiritual realm doesn’t need a visa to travel continents or statuses.
The attack on the heart, the discouragement in thought, the feelings of irrelevance, are identical when all one is trying to be is Obedient. Weather God calls us to active public ministry that impacts the hearts of His many kids, or active private ministry that affects the souls of your children, our desire to be OBEDIENT draws the attention of the enemy. OBEDIENCE is BETTER THAN SACRIFICE, and that is precious in God’s sight.
This is our life. My life.
While it’s here on earth, we are in this eternal fight. Regardless of the language spoken around me, God is teaching me to recognize and understand a different sphere, a culture of fear, regret, lies, and emotional state that is altered only by Faith. The physical proximity, familial, cultural, or social status is irrelevant. Comparing continents or countries is useless, because it’s not the comforts of this world that gives content and security to the soul.
I am learning to identify the discomfort of living with doubt and the beauty and ease that trust in the Lord brings. Spiritual richness and poverty is something I beginning to see. I don’t know what to say where it’s ‘better’ in Russia or the USA. People are in need of Christ! Their reality is bleak weather they take the subway to Red Square or Times Square. They need Jesus just the same. This is what God has been trying to show me. I haven’t paused long enough to notice. Until now.
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