from Russia with love

Last Hour in Russia.

These  months have been incredible.  I’ve done so many things I never planned to do, and I didn’t do some of the things that I did plan to do.  But God has provided a time of rest and a season change that I have never expected.  I am blessed.  I am blessed to be surrounded by people devoted to the Lord.  Being with the Grin Families has been incredible.  Such an example of living completely dependent on God.  Trusting their lives, existence and children into His care and protection, and relying solely on His provision.  That was inspiring and encouraging.  Being able to share Gods truth in cities that I have never even heard of.  Train rides, and long walks.  Heartfelt talks and prayers.  Lots of tea and food that is oh, so good.  There were tons of little ways that God displayed His protection and care.  I never lacked a thing.  In fact God spoiled me some.  For His ways that are beyond my understanding I am so thankful.

What waits for me as I cross the ocean once more? I do not know. But the peace is heavy upon my heart.  I am a daughter of the King of Kings, what do I have to worry about? Whatever life brings, I know that nothing compares to eternal value of Gods grace.

Being in the Moscow airport always makes me want to leave Russia and quick.  If its not them making me throw away rocks form North pole (which has happened twice to me in previous years), its them making me pay for extra luggage or whatever else they decide to do.  And the funniness of having to go pay at another register and then bringing back the receipt reminds me of the Soviet days.  Russians like to make you go places, there is no such thing as one-stop-all.  Then just as I settled in the waiting area, they made an announcement for everyone to get out because they are going to start security check.  Well soon I will be in the comforts of American lifestyle again.  Regardless of where I am, I know that I still am ‘in transit’ while I am on this side of heaven.  For I am a citizen of a heavenly dwelling, and I can’t wait to finish all there is for me to do, and get HOME!

Russian Christmas Craze

“Ill be Home for Christmas.. if only in my dreams”

The mall seems to be the only place where Christmas music is playing, and lights are sparkling, signifying that it is the Christmas Season.

Second Christmas and New Years in Russia. 

What is that all about?

Last year I spent in Chukotka.  The land of darkness and freeze, and not only temperature and nature wise, but spiritually in the hearts of people there.  It was quiet an experience.  This year I am in a mega polis.  The city is roaming with people, spending money.  The life is extremely different here.  I love observing this culture as if its not my own.  And its not.  I don’t belong.  Not that I feel like I belong in the States either.  But this is foreign.  I don’t know this Russia.  Russia RICH with things and people wanting to spend, spend, spend.  This is not the empty shelves and lines of the Soviet Russia that I remember from childhood. 

This nation is developing extremely fast.  The cities resemble so much like the States, except the contrast within the city is so drastic. 

What shocks me most is not the conditions, but the contradiction within which people live.  The city streets are full of lights, and upscale downtown living.  Having Louis Vuitton, Dior and other designer stores on one street, and a couple of blocks away there are private little homes with smoke going up from the chimneys, bathrooms outside as holes in the ground, and lack of indoor plumbing creates a need to hustle water from the well at the corner of the block.  It’s quiet extreme!

The craze of shopping is somewhat fascinating.  Now there is an overabundance of ‘things,’ and people are running wild, purchasing everything and anything.  The Hypermarkets have 90 registers working, and each have a line (Russians love Lines;) )  There are constant restocking going on, because the stores are running out of things, as well as the cleaning lady trying to push thru the people on the cart.  Price checks are run by clerks on rollerblades.  It’s unbelievable, unpredictable, extraordinary.

Russia.

The NEW Land of Russia.

No further comment. 

seminar in kurgan city

Gods ways are unpredictable and incredible.  After a youth conference that I had here in Yekaterinbrug, I am being invited to several areas around the area.  A youth leader that got married and moved to Yekaterinburg from Kurgan was very persistent to send me to the church and youth that he left behind in Kurgan, a city the middle of Russia, somewhat close to the Khazakhstan border. 

Traveling on a train is typical here in Russia, and I loved riding second class (not third) into the unknown.  This was a first for me to just go by faith without knowing the person who is to meet me and take me in.  It was a lovely simple adventure.  Arriving after midnight, a young lady met me at the station.  It was very chilly out, in -20’s. 

Sunday we got to church, and I was immediately transported back to my childhood, and our conservative underground church in Leningrad.  The simple house turned church, with the bathroom outhouses in the freezing cold. 

As soon as the service began, I was flooded with the memories and the Spirit within me bubbled up with joy for these people simply loved the Lord and praised Him as they knew. 

We had a simple lunch and tea afterwards.  Sitting at the long table with the long benches, brought memory upon memory from my decade spend in Russia growing up prior to moving to the comforts of America. 

The youth seminar was to be held at another church, and youth took the public transportation to get there, enjoying the laughter and company of each other.  I was taken there by car, to escape the icy weather. 

The Seminar. 

It was a blessed time of sharing Gods truth.  With every time I share my seminar is getting more and more polished.  After receiving numerous questions via text messages and email I have realized the importance of explaining the wisdom of God in designing the human body.  The main portion that has been added here in Russia, is sharing the truth about Gods Design for human body, which is teaching simple physiology, talking about menstrual cycle and wet dreams.  This is becoming a vital aspect of my seminars and it was great fun with not knowing the right terminology for everything in Russian.  The comfort and simplicity with which I share these topics are surprising even myself.  The youth said that they have never had anyone share with them on any of these topics. 

This trip was a gift for me.  A travel back in time sort of.  I was truly honored and blessed to meet my brothers and sisters in the deep center of Russia.  An unexpected financial gift that exceeded the amount I paid for train tickets, completely shocked me.  Even in the remote, cold Russian village, God is taking care of me.  I am never alone.  Never forgotten.  Loved, and taken care of.  For this I am overwhelmed with gratitude. 

I felt like such a foreigner on the way back, in my uggs, earphones blasting worship music, my water bottle and starbucks thermos cup.  The train glided thru the forest of a winter wonderland, that I unfortunately was not able to capture on camera.  This trip and the train ride, is one of those rare moments we have in life that we are overflowing with contentment and are unable to explain the bouquet of emotions.  This moment is simply engraved as a permanent sweet memory in my heart. 

$100,000

I don’t know how this miracle is going to happen, but I believe it will.  $100,000 to pay off all my student loans and than some.  For ministry purposes.  Lord – HOW? 

I don’t know How. 

When God called me to sell all I have and make myself available for His purposes, I had One BIG question in mind.  WHAT ABOUT MY STUDENT LOANS? I owe about $60,000.

 The question from God to my question was simple: “Don’t you think I can easily give you $100,000?”

I had to ‘argue’ with God a little bit, and said: “I don’t really need 100 I only need 60.” 

But the question remained.  Which triggered a bigger question – DO I BELIEVE, OR DO I DOUBT that God can provide such an amount? 

It was a struggle to begin and tell people about this need and ask them to pray for it.  I knew I would look insane asking them to pray for such an amount.  But more so, I trust that God is going to deliver.

The question is not really HOW – but WHEN?

When will I see this miracle?

When will I be completely and fully free?

When will I be able to fulfill Your purposes Lord, and bring You glory?

The matter is simple to BELIEVE in the meanwhile.  Prior to the promise being fulfilled.

Having Faith.

Simple Trust.

Hoping in the unseen. 

Waiting. 

Being faithful.

Having life go on.  Believing in something unbelievable. 

When?

How?

Thru whom?

Am I yet to be considered crazy to believe in something like this?

Yet I believe!

Am I yet to tell more people about my insane and naïve faith?  About my crazy trust and insane dependence?

Please keep me dependent always – as long as it takes to teach me Your Ways.

I want to already testify about Your Provision.

But meanwhile the miracle is in progress, all I have to rely on is FAITH. 

I believe and Those Who Believe – RECEIVE.

You’ve set me free from sin and death, please set me free financially.

This I pray in Jesus name, For Your Glory!

same issues

Having had the privilege of being invited to a youth conference here in Russia I was nervous. 
Nervous.  Again.

I am always nervous in a new venue, before new audience.  I have not lived in Russia for almost 20 years.  I am no longer a local.  I don’t feel like I belong. I don’t speak the current slang.  These youth have been born in the post Soviet Russia, the one my family left in the early 90’s.  How can I relate? 
Yet the Lord has made a way.  I was invited, and in the program as the last seminar of an all day conference.  I got there on time, ready with my newly translated power point of my Sex Talk.  Of course they were running 40 minnutes  late.  What else was new? Some things never change. ;)  However they were willing to listen.  I was given an hour, and I knew I could not fit into such a short time frame, regardless of me cutting close to 40 slides from my presentation. 

As I began to speak, and gave a disclaimer about my ability to make up words, and sneak English phrases ones in a while, I started rolling down my power point.  Of course they listened with eagerness and responded to my openness about this taboo area.  I have realized that Russian youth was at an even greater disadvantage, not having access to tons of resources of books, and material available in the States on such topics as dating, and relationships.

They were more timid in their questions via text messages, maybe because they have to pay for roaming on their cell phones still.  I made myself available to meet personally with anyone willing, while I am here, and this proved to me that issues and secrets people carry do not vary from country, nationality or language.  The enemy uses the same tactics to keep people in secret pain, struggling with doubt and fear. 

Although, I sense my calling to work with Slavic Youth in the United States, I am convinced that the information and material I will be compiling will be translated and available in both languages. 

God willing, my mission to Russia continues until early February 2012. 

i am 30

THIRTY.

Old or Not?

It IS considered to be ‘OLD’ in teenage eyes, and yet its ‘SO YOUNG’ in mature adult perspective. 

Regardless -  It’s a BIG DATE.  A hurdle.  A time to pause and reflect. To think and analyze.  I would have loved spending it with people who have walked majority of life with me, yet God had another plan.  And here I am, across the ocean, on another continent... celebrating.. thinking.. praying.. surrounded by people God has embedded into my heart.  He planted me into their lives. 

 What will this new stage of life bring for me?!

 Jesus have just started His ministry at Thirty.

And I feel like I will too.

Everything I have done and accomplished so far is meaningless.  There is a new beginning ahead.  I don’t know what it holds for me.  What will it all mean?  But I feel like I am entering a new ‘era’ of my life.   

Something new. 

Something else. 

Something I don’t fully know yet, although have been preparing for – for thirty years. 

What is it?  

I don’t know. 

But I trust.  I can only trust that the One that has been Faithful will continue to be. 

6 months

It’s been almost 6 months.   A whole half a year since I have been jobless, and homeless. 
Surprisingly or not my life has been more filled with adventure and provisions than ever before.  I have been on the move, not only through the states but across continents.  God has been providing shelter, and food and everything else I need (and often even want)!  Funny, but the list of all I ‘need’ has diminished tremendously.  I have realized I am in need of very little, when my life belongs to the King of Kings and I do not have much room to put things in.  The number of things I need changes with the space that I have.  The fact that I have to pack all I have into a suitcase, helps me keep focus on not overbuying. (Although I am a slow learner).

I work for the Lord.

Having a conversation with a businessman in Moscow helped me realize what a privilege it is to work for the Lords Company.  Not everyone has the honor of being offered a special full time position in His business.  Working for the Lord’s Company comes with certain challenges and benefits.  Traveling is one that was apparently included in my ‘package deal.’ I don’t mind at all, in fact I am remembering how I dreamed about it years before.  With the Lord – DREAMS COME TRUE!  I am honored to be working for an ‘all-inclusive’ kind of business.  All Sufficient, All Knowing, All Powerful, Mighty, Sovereign God has already allotted all I need to complete His tasks.  That’s His Promise.   I might not yet know of all the ‘bank accounts’ or other 'colleagues' to complete the necessary assignments, but I will know in Due time! For this I am so thankful, and am honored to have a full time/overtime position in such an eternally impactful company.  Although I am still in the ‘training’ period for my new position, I am getting used to it, and am LOVING IT!! 

MY BOSS is GOD – can there be a better leader to follow? J