footprints

“Some people come into our life and quickly go.  Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts….. and we are never, ever the same.”

Why does this sentimental statement have to be so true?

As my days at Alternatives are ticking away, I can’t help but grieve the oncoming separation.  Separation from the people that have left a lasting imprint on my heart.

It’s one thing not ever knowing the impact that my word, touch, hug, concern, has had on someone else’s life.  It’s quite the other for me, not having enough words or ways to express to someone the influence their presence has had on my soul. 

My heart is sad.

You, my friends, have taken permanent residence in my heart.  Your trace will always be with me, wherever I go. 

There has been much Oxytocin released with all the intimacy we have experienced together J.  lol.  We have a bond.   

I will extremely miss:

The inside jokes (esp about our brochures) that make us laugh every time. "Keeping the STD’s out of reach of children!” "We haven't had oral sex for sometime now."  “Where’s the porn? I need it for this weekend.”  among others…

The talks.  The tears.  The hugs.  The prayers.  The ache we feel for one who stepped onto the road of pain with her option.  The joy we feel for the LiFE Choice of another.  I never thought the decision of a stranger could spark such an emotional response in me.

Often, only those that have been in the trenches of war together understand each other…. And we have been in the trenches!  Although I am being transferred to another battle front – you all will always be in my prayers. 

I will never forget the thousands of Happy Hours at the center with you. 

……Until next time @ APC, Sushi, Panera, or Chevys. J

Two Birds

“Look at the birds.. are YOU not much more valuable than they?” (Matthew 6:26)

As Rolka and I sat on the steps of a park in a busy city, two birds landed and planted themselves next to us. Two Free Birds.

 Here is my Twin Sister and i.

We met in college.  It didn’t take long for us to realize that we are Twin Sisters.  Not by outward appearance by any means, but having Identical Souls & one Spirit.  The Spirit of Our Lord.  

Walking thru life for the last decade (literally) we cried many tears, prayed tons of prayers, and marveled at Gods sense of humor in our lives. 

We stand by each other as He continues to teach us to be His Mature Daughters. 

Here we are, both at a Crossroads of Life, yet again. 

God has called my friend to move and be a missionary in Europe.

God has called me to sell everything and live like a gypsy.

Why, oh why must we be separated to different continents of the globe?

She is a teacher.  Miss Popova:) 

This week was her, long awaited, Spring Break.  She came to spend some days with me (so clearly speaking my ‘quality time’ Love Language).

Walking the streets of San Francisco, possibly for the last time in a long time, we had no agenda, but to chit-chat about the work of our God.

Think about Life. 

How often do we follow that dream inside our soul?  Why is it even there?  What is up with the constant dissatisfaction of how things are?

Never enough $.

Mountain of bills.

Praying for a raise, a new car, a better home.  Asking God for health, family, protection.

We have great hidden FEAR to look deep down inside our heart: “What if He will call ME to be an EXCEPTION???”

                         …............................

Often like Peter, when hearing from Jesus, “Follow Me!”

We turn around, looking at self, others, strangers, we’re quick to reply, just like Peter to Jesus, “Lord, What about him?” 

Why does God not call my neighbor, my friend, or my brother? 

Why not a man?

Why not a pastor?

Why single girls?  Why US? The Twin Sisters?

Why not to one place? Or at least to a somewhat close existence? 

Regardless of query that lingers within me. 

To all the 'WHY' questions, Jesus gently answers:

“What is that to you?  YOU must follow ME.”  (John 21:22)

We’re both convinced of this whisper from Jesus!!

Regardless of where the response will lead us.

"BE STILL - you'll catch the connection"

 

When was the last time you were STILL?

Your phone showing “NO SERVICE” or “SEARCHING?”

Fully, completely, far away.

DISCONNECTED from “the world,” from mundane order of things: errands, traffic, emails, all of it. 

Still.

Out in nature. 

When was the last time you sat quietly in God’s creation, watching wild creatures enjoy their habitat?  Animals enjoy Life, while we humans, the Crown of God’s Creation, are robbed of simple content.  It has been replaced with deadlines and bills, freeways and credit cards. 

This past weekend I was away in the most beautiful location “The Lords Land”.  It truly was – the Land of our Lord.  Beauty of the coast, magnificence of the ocean waves, sea lions showing off when they noticed us watching.  To top off the serenity, we saw a whale, floating like royalty, displaying his relaxed grand mass, just swimming on by without a care in the world. 

And here we were, mesmerized by the sweet natural beauty of life, reluctant to move, praying for time to stand still, not wanting to return to the reality of everyday life. 

Days like that are such sweet reminders of the importance of REST that God mandated for Our Own Good.  Because it is only when we are fully, completely “DISCONNECTED” that we really ARE “CONNECTED,” Plugged In - to the Life Source of it all, the life that was intended for us….from the beginning. 

In our hectic life, we often lose the sense of Who is God, and Where is God.  We can’t hear His voice in the midst of all the noise. 

It’s only when we are STILL we know that HE.  IS.  GOD.

When we are Still,
we know  HE   I S !!

my letter of resignation

November 14, 2010

Dear Executive Director & Board,

This summer, one early morning, during a weekend conference where I HAD to be, I accidently got stuck on a train going somewhere I LONGED to be.  God clearly showed me through that adventure that although my heart will long to continue going on, I must yield to the announcement to ‘get off the train’ and not linger in order to escape unnecessary detour in my walk with Him.  Therefore, I am writing a formal resignation letter now that I have gotten a clear ‘announcement.’ 

It has been an honor for me to be serving the Lord at APC these last 3.5 years as the Client Services Director.  My life belongs to the God, and I am blessed beyond words for what He has done in me through this time at Alternatives.  I know that in His Sovereignty God has placed me in this position for a season, (to be glorified in my weaknesses) and He has made it clear to me that my season is coming to an end.  I am very excited for what God has in store for APC, as the medical services stabilize and expand, but He has made it clear to me that I must ‘get off the train.’

This ministry has been permanently engraved in my heart. I have been shaped beyond words during my time here, and I wish every child of God would experience the healing and growth that I have, being soaked in His presence at the center daily. 

For sometime now, I have been praying for the person that is to take over Client Services, and want to assist in the transition period as much as I can.  I can stay with Alternatives until May, and can consider The Walk, on May 14^th my last formal day with the center.

I did not want to stall in making this announcement in order to allow as much time as possible for transition. 

My primary goal now is to finish what I had begun and what I had sensed the Lord directed me to do.  Because I wholeheartedly love this ministry, I want to leave as much direction and encouragement for those that follow. 

Thank you for allowing me to serve on the frontlines in the Lords battle. 

“To Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work in us, to Him be the glory” Eph 3:20

For LiFE,

Natasha Kosachevich

traveling light

Years ago a friend of mine, as a joke, began a story about me: “So, Natasha, packed all her things into a lunchbox…”  Little did I know what he said was prophetic. 

The Lord is uprooting my life. 

For those of you who know me, you are familiar that I am ‘crazy natasha,’ one that does not ‘sit still.’

I am convinced that God knows who will say 'yes' to certain, outrageous assignments.  Several years ago, as I began to speak about Sex, Love & Relationships, I was in wonder at the sense of Humor of God, to use “ME” of all people to talk about such topics.  Today, I am quitting my job, just so I can be available to go anywhere, and speak to anyone, about GOD, SEX, and what He taught me about Sex (and other things).

I am a ‘hoarder’ by nature.  But God has made it clear to me that I must “Sell everything & Follow Him.”  I have been already throwing away binders from, get this - High School, and am looking forward to a new season in my life.  

Traveling Light.

Come with me.  (click follow J)