Grace like Sex

Grace is Like Sex.  And I don’t know what it is.

I know its free. 

I know its giving.

And Only God knows its true meaning.

I know it has no strings attached.

I know it comes out of true Love.

It is distorted by the world.  Contaminated.  Dirty.  False.

 Sex? Grace? 

In our day and world, they both lost its purposeful course. 

Recently during a bible study, God has clearly showed me that I try and make things happen on my own.  I know the truth, but for some reason it just can’t sink down from my head into my heart.  I know that I need to surrender, but I don’t even know HOW.  I know what I SHOULD do, but I don’t know HOW to.  How long will this battle be?  I don’t even know how to STOP.  I want to.  I want to just STOP.  Not to DO, not to THINK, not RATIONALIZE, NOT find any answers, NOT KNOW… but I can’t do even that.  I just don’t know HOW.  I hate the fact that it is true, that I believe the lie that I must WORK to gain something good.  That I do not deserve it free. That I am blessed because I’ve earned it. 

 I don’t get grace.

I know all about it.  But my heart just does not understand it.  Have I not experienced it?   And then I heard it in my heart:

“Grace is like sex.”  (it made me laugh)

I talk about it.  I know SO much about it, the depth of what it means, and its intent.  I teach the youth, I speak Gods truth about Sex, but I have not experienced it.  Do I even have a right to talk about it? 

And what about grace?  Am I just talking theory?  Am I just speaking out of knowledge and not the heart?  This makes me sick.  How do I stop?  How to surrender?  I know there is nothing I can do to earn Gods love. But my whole being just doesn’t know what it's like to “BE” and not to “DO”. Oh this is hard.  This is hard truth.  I hate this fact about me, and yet, I don’t know how to simply "Be."

A week went by.  I stopped pretending. I quit the usual routine.  One morning I kept hearing in my head: “Grace is like sex.”

And then it clicked.  There are a lot of people who do sex, but do not grasp the full intend of what it was designed to be.  They don’t understand what God meant.  Even Christian married people can relish in the act, but lack the intimacy fact.

Same with Grace.

We can experience some of it.  Portion of it, but not know what it really meant, its true intent.  We try, we practice. Attempt to grasp full measure of what it is. 
What is it? Why do some people experience more of it?
Are happier in it? Truly. Really.  Are they?  Do we? Am I?

So although I have not had sex.  I HAVE experienced some grace.  I still don’t get it.

And there are many who have sex, but just don’t get it.  They just don’t get it!

Its not an act. It’s all about the Heart.