Russian Christmas Craze

“Ill be Home for Christmas.. if only in my dreams”

The mall seems to be the only place where Christmas music is playing, and lights are sparkling, signifying that it is the Christmas Season.

Second Christmas and New Years in Russia. 

What is that all about?

Last year I spent in Chukotka.  The land of darkness and freeze, and not only temperature and nature wise, but spiritually in the hearts of people there.  It was quiet an experience.  This year I am in a mega polis.  The city is roaming with people, spending money.  The life is extremely different here.  I love observing this culture as if its not my own.  And its not.  I don’t belong.  Not that I feel like I belong in the States either.  But this is foreign.  I don’t know this Russia.  Russia RICH with things and people wanting to spend, spend, spend.  This is not the empty shelves and lines of the Soviet Russia that I remember from childhood. 

This nation is developing extremely fast.  The cities resemble so much like the States, except the contrast within the city is so drastic. 

What shocks me most is not the conditions, but the contradiction within which people live.  The city streets are full of lights, and upscale downtown living.  Having Louis Vuitton, Dior and other designer stores on one street, and a couple of blocks away there are private little homes with smoke going up from the chimneys, bathrooms outside as holes in the ground, and lack of indoor plumbing creates a need to hustle water from the well at the corner of the block.  It’s quiet extreme!

The craze of shopping is somewhat fascinating.  Now there is an overabundance of ‘things,’ and people are running wild, purchasing everything and anything.  The Hypermarkets have 90 registers working, and each have a line (Russians love Lines;) )  There are constant restocking going on, because the stores are running out of things, as well as the cleaning lady trying to push thru the people on the cart.  Price checks are run by clerks on rollerblades.  It’s unbelievable, unpredictable, extraordinary.

Russia.

The NEW Land of Russia.

No further comment. 

seminar in kurgan city

Gods ways are unpredictable and incredible.  After a youth conference that I had here in Yekaterinbrug, I am being invited to several areas around the area.  A youth leader that got married and moved to Yekaterinburg from Kurgan was very persistent to send me to the church and youth that he left behind in Kurgan, a city the middle of Russia, somewhat close to the Khazakhstan border. 

Traveling on a train is typical here in Russia, and I loved riding second class (not third) into the unknown.  This was a first for me to just go by faith without knowing the person who is to meet me and take me in.  It was a lovely simple adventure.  Arriving after midnight, a young lady met me at the station.  It was very chilly out, in -20’s. 

Sunday we got to church, and I was immediately transported back to my childhood, and our conservative underground church in Leningrad.  The simple house turned church, with the bathroom outhouses in the freezing cold. 

As soon as the service began, I was flooded with the memories and the Spirit within me bubbled up with joy for these people simply loved the Lord and praised Him as they knew. 

We had a simple lunch and tea afterwards.  Sitting at the long table with the long benches, brought memory upon memory from my decade spend in Russia growing up prior to moving to the comforts of America. 

The youth seminar was to be held at another church, and youth took the public transportation to get there, enjoying the laughter and company of each other.  I was taken there by car, to escape the icy weather. 

The Seminar. 

It was a blessed time of sharing Gods truth.  With every time I share my seminar is getting more and more polished.  After receiving numerous questions via text messages and email I have realized the importance of explaining the wisdom of God in designing the human body.  The main portion that has been added here in Russia, is sharing the truth about Gods Design for human body, which is teaching simple physiology, talking about menstrual cycle and wet dreams.  This is becoming a vital aspect of my seminars and it was great fun with not knowing the right terminology for everything in Russian.  The comfort and simplicity with which I share these topics are surprising even myself.  The youth said that they have never had anyone share with them on any of these topics. 

This trip was a gift for me.  A travel back in time sort of.  I was truly honored and blessed to meet my brothers and sisters in the deep center of Russia.  An unexpected financial gift that exceeded the amount I paid for train tickets, completely shocked me.  Even in the remote, cold Russian village, God is taking care of me.  I am never alone.  Never forgotten.  Loved, and taken care of.  For this I am overwhelmed with gratitude. 

I felt like such a foreigner on the way back, in my uggs, earphones blasting worship music, my water bottle and starbucks thermos cup.  The train glided thru the forest of a winter wonderland, that I unfortunately was not able to capture on camera.  This trip and the train ride, is one of those rare moments we have in life that we are overflowing with contentment and are unable to explain the bouquet of emotions.  This moment is simply engraved as a permanent sweet memory in my heart. 

$100,000

I don’t know how this miracle is going to happen, but I believe it will.  $100,000 to pay off all my student loans and than some.  For ministry purposes.  Lord – HOW? 

I don’t know How. 

When God called me to sell all I have and make myself available for His purposes, I had One BIG question in mind.  WHAT ABOUT MY STUDENT LOANS? I owe about $60,000.

 The question from God to my question was simple: “Don’t you think I can easily give you $100,000?”

I had to ‘argue’ with God a little bit, and said: “I don’t really need 100 I only need 60.” 

But the question remained.  Which triggered a bigger question – DO I BELIEVE, OR DO I DOUBT that God can provide such an amount? 

It was a struggle to begin and tell people about this need and ask them to pray for it.  I knew I would look insane asking them to pray for such an amount.  But more so, I trust that God is going to deliver.

The question is not really HOW – but WHEN?

When will I see this miracle?

When will I be completely and fully free?

When will I be able to fulfill Your purposes Lord, and bring You glory?

The matter is simple to BELIEVE in the meanwhile.  Prior to the promise being fulfilled.

Having Faith.

Simple Trust.

Hoping in the unseen. 

Waiting. 

Being faithful.

Having life go on.  Believing in something unbelievable. 

When?

How?

Thru whom?

Am I yet to be considered crazy to believe in something like this?

Yet I believe!

Am I yet to tell more people about my insane and naïve faith?  About my crazy trust and insane dependence?

Please keep me dependent always – as long as it takes to teach me Your Ways.

I want to already testify about Your Provision.

But meanwhile the miracle is in progress, all I have to rely on is FAITH. 

I believe and Those Who Believe – RECEIVE.

You’ve set me free from sin and death, please set me free financially.

This I pray in Jesus name, For Your Glory!

same issues

Having had the privilege of being invited to a youth conference here in Russia I was nervous. 
Nervous.  Again.

I am always nervous in a new venue, before new audience.  I have not lived in Russia for almost 20 years.  I am no longer a local.  I don’t feel like I belong. I don’t speak the current slang.  These youth have been born in the post Soviet Russia, the one my family left in the early 90’s.  How can I relate? 
Yet the Lord has made a way.  I was invited, and in the program as the last seminar of an all day conference.  I got there on time, ready with my newly translated power point of my Sex Talk.  Of course they were running 40 minnutes  late.  What else was new? Some things never change. ;)  However they were willing to listen.  I was given an hour, and I knew I could not fit into such a short time frame, regardless of me cutting close to 40 slides from my presentation. 

As I began to speak, and gave a disclaimer about my ability to make up words, and sneak English phrases ones in a while, I started rolling down my power point.  Of course they listened with eagerness and responded to my openness about this taboo area.  I have realized that Russian youth was at an even greater disadvantage, not having access to tons of resources of books, and material available in the States on such topics as dating, and relationships.

They were more timid in their questions via text messages, maybe because they have to pay for roaming on their cell phones still.  I made myself available to meet personally with anyone willing, while I am here, and this proved to me that issues and secrets people carry do not vary from country, nationality or language.  The enemy uses the same tactics to keep people in secret pain, struggling with doubt and fear. 

Although, I sense my calling to work with Slavic Youth in the United States, I am convinced that the information and material I will be compiling will be translated and available in both languages. 

God willing, my mission to Russia continues until early February 2012. 

i am 30

THIRTY.

Old or Not?

It IS considered to be ‘OLD’ in teenage eyes, and yet its ‘SO YOUNG’ in mature adult perspective. 

Regardless -  It’s a BIG DATE.  A hurdle.  A time to pause and reflect. To think and analyze.  I would have loved spending it with people who have walked majority of life with me, yet God had another plan.  And here I am, across the ocean, on another continent... celebrating.. thinking.. praying.. surrounded by people God has embedded into my heart.  He planted me into their lives. 

 What will this new stage of life bring for me?!

 Jesus have just started His ministry at Thirty.

And I feel like I will too.

Everything I have done and accomplished so far is meaningless.  There is a new beginning ahead.  I don’t know what it holds for me.  What will it all mean?  But I feel like I am entering a new ‘era’ of my life.   

Something new. 

Something else. 

Something I don’t fully know yet, although have been preparing for – for thirty years. 

What is it?  

I don’t know. 

But I trust.  I can only trust that the One that has been Faithful will continue to be. 

6 months

It’s been almost 6 months.   A whole half a year since I have been jobless, and homeless. 
Surprisingly or not my life has been more filled with adventure and provisions than ever before.  I have been on the move, not only through the states but across continents.  God has been providing shelter, and food and everything else I need (and often even want)!  Funny, but the list of all I ‘need’ has diminished tremendously.  I have realized I am in need of very little, when my life belongs to the King of Kings and I do not have much room to put things in.  The number of things I need changes with the space that I have.  The fact that I have to pack all I have into a suitcase, helps me keep focus on not overbuying. (Although I am a slow learner).

I work for the Lord.

Having a conversation with a businessman in Moscow helped me realize what a privilege it is to work for the Lords Company.  Not everyone has the honor of being offered a special full time position in His business.  Working for the Lord’s Company comes with certain challenges and benefits.  Traveling is one that was apparently included in my ‘package deal.’ I don’t mind at all, in fact I am remembering how I dreamed about it years before.  With the Lord – DREAMS COME TRUE!  I am honored to be working for an ‘all-inclusive’ kind of business.  All Sufficient, All Knowing, All Powerful, Mighty, Sovereign God has already allotted all I need to complete His tasks.  That’s His Promise.   I might not yet know of all the ‘bank accounts’ or other 'colleagues' to complete the necessary assignments, but I will know in Due time! For this I am so thankful, and am honored to have a full time/overtime position in such an eternally impactful company.  Although I am still in the ‘training’ period for my new position, I am getting used to it, and am LOVING IT!! 

MY BOSS is GOD – can there be a better leader to follow? J

playground

People keep asking me: “Where do you like it better, in America or in Russia?”  I am having a hard time answering, it’s becoming harder and harder for me to notice the difference.  Thank God for being the SAME everywhere.  The earth is the Lords, and it’s all the same to Him and is becoming all the same to me.  I am slowly learning to “Just Be.”

I’ve prayed and prayed to just stop doing, to stop running, to stop worrying. 

God is teaching me “TO BE,” to simply “BE ME!”

Currently I am not doing much.  Well, at least in my sense of the word.  I realize that for me cooking, cleaning, babysitting is NOT doing.  Because that is not a part of my “normal, daily living,” it is actually RELAXING.  J  I don’t “DO” housework.  My life just does not consist of it.  I travel, speak, and meet with people, I talk and counsel, listen and pray, but washing dishes and simply playing with little girls is just not something I’ve done regularly – until now.  To help in the kitchen, make breakfast , do laundry, that simply isn’t my life.  It might be someday – but for now, this is my vacation! 

It’s different.

Yet there seems to be an internal struggle just the same.  I am realizing that the attacks on the soul are present weather I am on stage or on the playground.  The spiritual realm doesn’t need a visa to travel continents or statuses.

The attack on the heart, the discouragement in thought, the feelings of irrelevance, are identical when all one is trying to be is Obedient.  Weather God calls us to active public ministry that impacts the hearts of His many kids, or active private ministry that affects the souls of your children, our desire to be OBEDIENT draws the attention of the enemy.   OBEDIENCE is BETTER THAN SACRIFICE, and that is precious in God’s sight.

 This is our life.  My life.

While it’s here on earth, we are in this eternal fight.  Regardless of the language spoken around me, God is teaching me to recognize and understand a different sphere, a culture of fear, regret, lies, and emotional state that is altered only by Faith.  The physical proximity, familial, cultural, or social status is irrelevant.  Comparing continents or countries is useless, because it’s not the comforts of this world that gives content and security to the soul. 

I am learning to identify the discomfort of living with doubt and the beauty and ease that trust in the Lord brings.  Spiritual richness and poverty is something I beginning to see.  I don’t know what to say where it’s ‘better’ in Russia or the USA.  People are in need of Christ!  Their reality is bleak weather they take the subway to Red Square or Times Square.  They need Jesus just the same.  This is what God has been trying to show me.  I haven’t paused long enough to notice.  Until now.

 Watching the girls carelessly jump around on the playground….

Moscow days

“There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven… a time to keep and a time to throw away.. a time to be silent and a time to speak..”  Eccl 3:1,6,7

As I was preparing to set out on my journey, I was throwing and giving away  a lot of things.  Some things I kept.  Although I have realized I was unwise in NOT bringing them to Russia with me.  Like my RAINBOOTS for example.  I kept them, but I left them in Seattle.  In fact I have been leaving some of my things all across the country J. 

Now I have been in Moscow for 2 weeks.  This is the longest time I have stayed here in the Capital of the Mother Land.  Usually it is a quick transit.  This is also a transit stop, although prolonged.  My days here have been filled first with walking thru all the famous spots, and posting numerous pictures on facebook of the beautiful city. 

The last few days I have had the privilege of losing my self (literally) in the streets of Moscow, without even pulling out a camera.  I walk out of a random subway, and just start walking.  I go slow, taking in the Russian life.  I just walk and turn wherever I feel like it.  I pray and think. I slow down and sit on a bench watching the birds.  When it gets late, I wonder the streets until I find another subway to enter the underground world that will take me home. 

It all fascinates me.  It reminds me of childhood. It feels so natural and comfortable, yet I am different. 

I fit in and yet I don’t.

The beautiful architecture covered with modern advertisement.  It’s there, but it doesn’t really belong.

I have realized that “this is a time to be silent.”  God has been teaching me a lot about silence lately (read my SILENCE blog).  It is My turn to be silent.  To not speak to people much.  To listen.  To watch.  To just be.  To be where I am. And I am here, in Moscow.  For now.  

I have had a few very powerful encounters with old friends, or the friends of my parents.  I am humbled as to how God uses them to remind me of His promises, His faithfulness, His truths, and the privileges of working for His Kingdom.  I have been touched through these conversations and for this I am truly thankful.  I guess it is my time to be still, and to receive.  Receive encouragement, and inspiration, receive truth and words of life spoken into me. 

My time of speaking will come again, of this I am certain.  For now, I am so extremely content to just walk, to sit, to stand.  To be in a foreign territory, yet feel so connected.  So close, so familiar, yet so far, different, other. 

What is this?

This external inner feeling.  The distant closeness of it all. 

It’s mine yet it’s not my own. 

 

imitate me

It was another warm sunny day with lots of people out enjoying the view of a beautiful, majestic, historic capital of the mighty Mother Russia.  My friends and I were walking the touristy streets of Moscow as well. 

Coming upon a green grassy area next to Kremlin, and a huge intersection, the girls and I decided to spread one of our scarfs and just sit down on the grass.  This is a common practice in the States.  I’ve sat in numerous such parks in America, from San Francisco to New York City.  Here, it was just not common.  It was not done.  People just walked on by, hurrying along the beautiful streets.

As we sat there, enjoying the view of Moscow Traffic ahead, and Kremlin wall to our left, we noticed that people began to imitate us.  They started to slow down by the grass.  Some sat down as well, others only to take pictures and hurry on. Some sat to rest for a while.  It was quiet interesting to see how easy it was to set an example and how quickly others will follow.

We prayed.

I love praying in random places like that.  In the middle of cities.  I remember praying with a friend smack in the center of Times Squire in NY.  So here was a time to pray in the heart of Moscow.  I realized during prayer how important it is to ‘set the trend.’  May not only our random acts of behavior be imitated by walking by tourists, but may our lives resemble Christ so it will be worth imitating! 

May our faith, our trust, our devotion our living, be fun and exciting, attractive and vivid, for others to want to imitate, to want to follow, and live devoted to Christ. 

May we imitate the life of Christ, so that we can confidently say: “I urge you to imitate me.”  (1 Cor 4:16)

airport

[Taken out straight from my journal as I was trying to come up with a poem for Anna&Yuriy's wedding. It just wasn't happening.  I felt a nudge from the Lord to just speak.  Just share from the heart.] 

About the airport.

A place of transit to the next destination.

Pack only what’s necessary.

I’ve taken Anna so many times to Sac and San Francisco, for missions trips and other things. She’s aslo taken me.  She flew to visit Yura, she greeted him here at the airport.

Airport.

And here we are celebrating their TAKE OFF. 

Whatever they have acquired through their single lives, their experiences, thoughts, oppenness and brokenness before God, faith, trust, these are the things they are taking on their flight, their “Marriage Plane” but it’s all just transit. 

Stops and take offs..

We are always traveling ..

Because our final destination is Heaven.. Eternity

Therefore – the qualities, disciplines, truths that are acquired will sustain you through this flight.... this life.

So may this life-flight, be pleasant. 

Travel Light.

No need to drag extra baggage with you.

Learn to be content with what you‘ve got.  It will last.  It’s more than what many others have.

May God continue directing your itinerary.  May He direct the flight. 

May you two enjoy this trip, for the rest of your lives.

And remember, it’s only temporary, until we arrive at our final destination.

И я так рада что точно вас на небе обниму!

love my new journal

I journal A L OOOOOT and I love my new journal.  It’s nice and thick and lines aren’t big.  The world map is perfect to reflect this season of my life.  But more than all that I love how it came about.

.......

Three years ago I was in Seattle for a seminar.  There was a young girl there for only a day.  She actually left after my first session.  She stood out to me.  We chatted briefly over dinner.  I was drawn to something within her.  She was a typical teenager, but in her eyes, I saw that she was not typical at all.  There was so much depth to her soul.  She left, but I could not forget her in my prayers. 

This time I came to Seattle for a month.  With no seminars planned, and a clear schedule.

In camp a young lady comes up to me, and as she smiles, I can clearly see that it’s the same girl, that years ago left an imprint on my soul.

We set up breakfast dates, and in those morning hours, Jesus Himself spoke to our hearts thru each other. 

It was simply ExtraOrdinary!! ;)

It is rare to encounter a kindred spirit in a ‘stranger’.  It’s fascinating.  The little things we were similar in brought many laughs and goose bumps.  God spoke and it touched our hearts. 

She wanted to get me a gift.  A Journal, by any means. 

Journaling is my language of the heart.  We chose this specific one.  It represents the journey that the Lord’s begun.  As I left the country, and endured on this uncertain trusting path, I shall be reminded of a life so beautiful, unfolding, a butterfly in a cocoon, still forming. 

This journal will always be next to my Bible. Next to me.